Will you hold it against me?

Today I've fucked up real bad. I had no control over my incensed emotions and my temper was just raging as ever.

I am a person who strive for perfection and can never tolerate petty mistakes or clumsiness for that matter. It's so hard when your best friend is exactly just the things you're irked with the most.

I can't fucking stand it. It's like you know you're dealing with a madhouse kind of person and yet you provoked her till she's compelled to act the way she did. 

And now I have these weird feelings where I feel guilty and shit when you know me best and the things I loathe the most. Why do I always have to be stuck in this kind of situation? It's not easy for me too. 

Needless to say I admit that I've crossed the line.. I really don't know anymore.

It's so hard when I am the way I am and you are the way you are. It's like we can click on most level but just not on every other level. Complicated, I know. 

Maybe cause we're both from two very different world and we try to bend our rules just to fit in each other's lives. The question is: Until when? 

Side note:

I hope you wouldn't hold it against me for the unfortunate things which happened that day. I swear with every inch, ever fiber of my being that I didn't mean to do what I did to you. It was purely due to loss of rationality and who asked you to get on my nerves? Asking for it right? But I'm sorry. 

You are the only friend I could truly count on who would have my back at any given time and I still need you fat face. 

#NotReadyToForgive #WhatBullshit #Iknowyouneedmetoo #ComeBack